in my 3+ years of living in this, some call great, city i have noticed a few attributes about the city and it’s inhabitants.
today i was finally able to sew my thoughts together into one cohesive commentary about this place- rain makes new yorkers rude.
rain, more so than smart phones and tablets, draws new yorker’s eyes from the road in from of them to their feet. they cross streets without looking, they push others without acknowledging their presence, all because of the selfishness of rain- they are the only people inconvenienced by what the weather has dealt them.
there is only one thing worse than a selfish, cranky, wet new yorker. a selfish, cranky, wet new yorker with an umbrella.
umbrella’s will be the death of me in this city- people walk as though they are the only ones with the pointless contraption above their heads. they walk at an angle, on the wrong side of the sidewalk (which is a commentary for another time) expertly tipping the umbrella so the oncoming foot traffic is hidden from view, and they proceed to barrel through them. heaven forbid two new yorkers with umbrellas collide, let the stink eyes roll and the shade be thrown.
new yorkers with umbrellas are like middle-schoolers with large backpacks… they have no idea how to control them and they will inevitably knock someone over.